Paradox
My Metamorphosis Journey of Holistic Recovery from Shizophreniaing
MY FATHER
My father was born in a small village near Beijing. He met my mother in Beijing at university. During the Cultural Revolution, they both went to a village in the countryside where they got married. Because of the birthplace and household registry system, however, my mother lived in Beijing and my father worked in a small seaside town, at the very eastern end of the Great Wall at the Bohai Sea. After a few years of living in separate places, they had me. My father was transferred to the same department in Beijing as my mother, but in a different subdivision.
"I went to Father and told him that my mother said that he asked for a divorce, and I had to choose from them to live with. I begged him to write me a letter of assurance stating that they would stay together for twenty years. I was trying to be clever with Father. I thought that in twenty years I would be grown up and then it wouldn’t matter to me whether they got divorced or not. On the other hand, twenty years later they would be old; how could they still want to divorce?
I seldom asked Father for anything, but I couldn’t help myself this time. I thought if they divorced, my world would be shattered. Father wrote the letter, as I had requested, with tears in his eyes. I was too young to understand why his hands were shaking. However, not long after that, this scene had been sealed in my memory. I kept the letter behind a school certificate. I just knew it was always there, whether we were moving or packing. But I have never touched this wound since. After that night, Father never argued back to my mother. Even when my mother argued, he just got out of the way.
It was only when I had recovered from my traumas and the repeated strikes from life that I could understand my mother’s difficult personality was down to a latent but severe mental syndrome mixed with anxiety, mania, hallucination, persecutory delusion and bipolar disorder. Father had spent his whole life showing his love, gratitude, tolerance, and respect to my mother to keep his promise to his wife and family, as well as uphold his responsibility for me. I kicked myself endlessly and believed it was Father’s naïve daughter who had ruined the rest of his life; it was a father’s promise to his daughter that had made him live in hopeless torture. The year Father ended up leaving the world, he had been only sixty-eight."
----Excerpt from Paradox
Father's life was a long and steady crescendo. He was known as kind and gentle, and as a fair person who strove to treat his family and employees with deep respect. He was a man whose qualities I would later seek to find in my husband.
My mother’s chronic latent mental illness brought about a negative emotional environment and depressed family relationships. This caused my father's health to collapse just a few years after his retirement. He was diagnosed with stage-four lung cancer.
The photo above was taken three months after his diagnosis and about four months before his death. We went to Purple Bamboo Park, the place he liked best, while he was undergoing chemotherapy. He was holding my daughter Amy, and it was a few days before her first birthday. Father's expression was so peaceful and calm, even though he was undergoing chemotherapy at the time and was waiting for large-area radiation therapy. I will never forget any dream I have of him.
Then at Christmas time in 2011, I received a phone call at work from the hospital saying that I needed to go there straight away, and that his illness had become worse. This meant that the hospital and doctors had decided to give up further treatment and that my father would die in a matter of days.
I was traumatized, and my ten-year period of mental illness broke out soon after this. My turbulent life became increasingly so after he passed away.
Now that I have recovered from my personal problems and health crisis, I am sincerely grateful for the memories my father imprinted on me and for my growth in my early childhood, and I thank him for the life lessons of gratitude he taught me by example throughout his entire life.
MY MOTHER
My mother, the only girl among her six siblings, was brought to Beijing at an early age by my grandfather, along with most of her brothers. My grandfather was a leather-shoe craftsman. As an adult, my mother had an admirable job and an enviable appearance, but she suffered from mental illness for decades, although we considered her problems to be personality traits, not a mental illness.
After my father died abruptly and with the deterioration of my mental condition, she also collapsed and battled with memory loss. During the COVID-19 pandemic, my mother became extremely anxious. I administered orthomolecular nutrition therapy to her, and the improvement can easily be seen in these casual shots.
* Photo on the right taken July 6, 2020.
My mother was extremely anxious about COVID-19.
She couldn't sleep or communicate well, she lost her focus while listening and her cognitive perception of reality, and she didn't trust anyone.
* Photo on the left taken September 3, 2020
After only two months of orthomolecular nutrition therapy, my mother has restored energy and focus. Her memory has also greatly improved.
Many chronic physical discomforts, including emotional hunger, dizziness, migraine, stomach ache, and diarrhea also disappeared. Her high blood pressure also surprisingly came under control when she stopped hypotensive drugs, which she had taken for over thirty years.
Please refer to the my mother's monthly USANA auto-order for her mental health, and the separated products monthly for her chronic diseases, for example, osteoporosis, digestive health, memory declination, cardiovascular degeneration and immunity improvement.
Contact me to know how and why these nutrition combination work for her.
The transboundary therapy ingrated with the orthomolecular nutrition and faith in the case of my mother have been another living proof of the connection between mind, body, and spirit. As two-time Nobel Prize winner Dr. Linus Pauling said, “Nearly all disease can be traced to a nutritional deficiency.”
"It wasn’t until I persuaded her to accept the connection with God, that things became easier. She didn’t need to choose left or right for every single decision each day. When she felt anxious and uncomfortable, she could just surrender herself to God and pray; when she felt comfortable and peaceful, that was God’s gospel conveyed to her through the Holy Ghost. This fact can also be explained by the historical origin of mind, body, and spirit. “When body is estranged from mind, the integration can be attained again by experiencing a type of religious disciplines.”
I found that her daily range of blood pressure was not that abnormal, though she would feel dizzy, perturbed, and had accelerated heartbeats during the day. I suddenly noticed these symptoms were quite like the body’s manifestation of anxiety. I explained the connection between mind, body, and spirit to my mother, and helped her get relief from the chronic anxiety which had tortured her for decades, through combined therapies.
As her anxiety gradually alleviated, she dared to skip her blood pressure pills. She surprisingly found her discomfort had almost disappeared, and she could even live quite well without those pills that had accompanied her for so long. I was very happy for her. Long-term hypertension is deadly since it might result in drug resistance."
---- Excerpt from Paradox